Skiing, Chinatown and the frozen North: March 15 2006

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Kia Ora Koutou,

Welcome to another enthralling episode of the goings

on of Toronto Pip and his Trusty sidekick's

Mississauga Juju & Montreal McGregor [the french

cannot see the irony in that one, go figure].



Anyway hi to all in Kiwiland, enjoying the last of the

summer I hope and looking forward to sitting back and

enjoying the "Commonwealth Games". Not to to blunt but

there has not been one bit of media air time or

attention paid to this 18th games, I don't know what

that means but a distinct lack of coverage for us no

doubt.



Unlike the 24 hrs of the winter Olympics we had to

endure. I particularly liked the curling and am

looking to take it up next season, if I can fit it

into my heavy training schedule along with my ski

jumping, bobsledding & downhill.

I have worked out after a short time with the "she

devil" or "she who must be obeyed while on the hill"

[yes we are still skiing and it is still snowing and

we are up the hill again this weekend] that it is way

better for me just go straight and as fast as possible

to the bottom, and then start all over. Here I have a

distinct advantage that all you who know about physics

should be able to work out. Lay-mans terms, mass +

weight + downward slop means faster Toronto Pip.

Faster Toronto Pip means green blur and ability to

escape the teacher "Mississauga Juju". The beauty of

where we ski at the Blue Mountains is that you can ski

to the door of various pubs, sink a bottle of red wine

and then hit the slopes even more dangerous than ever,

and with a bottle on board fear seems to go out the

window, and rails and jumps become more useful for

getting down even faster.



Lets talk rugby, the "Blues", we'll that says it all

and is enough about that topic.



Last weekend "spooky woman" and I went to China Town

to do our shopping, [we leave "Montreal McGregor" at

home for various reasons]. Anyway they have the best

beef and pork and it is so much cheaper than anywhere

else. My mandarin is coming along well and I look

forward to become a driving instructor on my return to

NZ. I have developed some fantastic hand gestures as

well, [no explanation needed here], just picture a

tall white bloke surrounded by thousands of yellow

blokes and the tall bloke doing a fine impression of

Jackie Chan crossed with a Holland windmill.



I was in Ottawa and Montreal last week on business.

Ottawa is where parliament is, so it is all very

parliament like. The buildings though are very french

etc are fantastic, and Ottawa has the longest river in

the world that can be skated on. We haven't done the

skating thing yet, [I did in Montreal but that's

coming up] it just looks like a recipe for disaster,

and I can see a broken ankle and various other serious

injuries, and that's just the poor buggers I crash

into. I visited flightscape which is an airline black

box manufacturer, all very interesting really, they

had all the big wigs from JAL [Japanese airlines]

there, so I did an impromptu Haka to stir them along,

they looked a bit serious so I hope they hadn't

suffered some black box crisis on one of their

airlines. No one had taken out the ceremonial sword at

the stage I was asked to leave.



In Montreal where it was -22 degrees and the car park

was a makeshift skate arena, I managed to have my

first good fall on the ice. It was a beautifully

choreographed event with me managing to get one leg

out of the passenger side only to have it disappear at

a startling rate, followed by the rest of my body, the

result was one leg in car jammed under dashboard,

other heading out at an unimaginable angle [those of

you who have seen me do it, and yes I still can, "the

splits"] so there I am bum to shoulder blade immersed

in two inches of slush and fresh rain yet to be

frozen, and my head cracking the ice. After which my

efforts to get up as quickly as possible had me

heading off through the car park on my hands and

knees, [so am not putting figure skating on my list].

Needless to say after my explicit verbal reaction to

this the Quebec Qua have taken me on as a new

spokesman, which is by no means easy as they are folk

who consider you an inferior human because you speak

English.

Then into a company called CAE Electronics who produce

flight simulators for all aircraft of the world. Now

this is good fun and I have now had two small

sessions, 1 in an Airbus A320 the other in a Boeing

767. All good fun really.



I left Montreal at 4.30 pm by car and looked up at the

sign that said Toronto 535km, so I rang Mississauga

Juju and asked what was or dinner as I would be home

about 8pm?, bullshit I hear you say! But with the

highway being straight the whole way and with

everybody doing about 130kmh when you push it up to

145kmh it is achievable. End result dinner with the

trouble and strife.



This weekend skiing, and next week in Wisconsin &

Minnesota. So look forward to next weeks "the week

that was" coming from an American inbred own near you.

Cletus and his sister who is also his mother plus Hank

have been waiting my arrival.



Much love to all,

P's. send me your news as you are all hopeless.

Toronto pip