Skiing, Chinatown and the frozen North: March 15 2006

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Kia Ora Koutou,

Welcome to another enthralling episode of the goings

on of Toronto Pip and his Trusty sidekick's

Mississauga Juju & Montreal McGregor [the french

cannot see the irony in that one, go figure].



Anyway hi to all in Kiwiland, enjoying the last of the

summer I hope and looking forward to sitting back and

enjoying the "Commonwealth Games". Not to to blunt but

there has not been one bit of media air time or

attention paid to this 18th games, I don't know what

that means but a distinct lack of coverage for us no

doubt.



Unlike the 24 hrs of the winter Olympics we had to

endure. I particularly liked the curling and am

looking to take it up next season, if I can fit it

into my heavy training schedule along with my ski

jumping, bobsledding & downhill.

I have worked out after a short time with the "she

devil" or "she who must be obeyed while on the hill"

[yes we are still skiing and it is still snowing and

we are up the hill again this weekend] that it is way

better for me just go straight and as fast as possible

to the bottom, and then start all over. Here I have a

distinct advantage that all you who know about physics

should be able to work out. Lay-mans terms, mass +

weight + downward slop means faster Toronto Pip.

Faster Toronto Pip means green blur and ability to

escape the teacher "Mississauga Juju". The beauty of

where we ski at the Blue Mountains is that you can ski

to the door of various pubs, sink a bottle of red wine

and then hit the slopes even more dangerous than ever,

and with a bottle on board fear seems to go out the

window, and rails and jumps become more useful for

getting down even faster.



Lets talk rugby, the "Blues", we'll that says it all

and is enough about that topic.



Last weekend "spooky woman" and I went to China Town

to do our shopping, [we leave "Montreal McGregor" at

home for various reasons]. Anyway they have the best

beef and pork and it is so much cheaper than anywhere

else. My mandarin is coming along well and I look

forward to become a driving instructor on my return to

NZ. I have developed some fantastic hand gestures as

well, [no explanation needed here], just picture a

tall white bloke surrounded by thousands of yellow

blokes and the tall bloke doing a fine impression of

Jackie Chan crossed with a Holland windmill.



I was in Ottawa and Montreal last week on business.

Ottawa is where parliament is, so it is all very

parliament like. The buildings though are very french

etc are fantastic, and Ottawa has the longest river in

the world that can be skated on. We haven't done the

skating thing yet, [I did in Montreal but that's

coming up] it just looks like a recipe for disaster,

and I can see a broken ankle and various other serious

injuries, and that's just the poor buggers I crash

into. I visited flightscape which is an airline black

box manufacturer, all very interesting really, they

had all the big wigs from JAL [Japanese airlines]

there, so I did an impromptu Haka to stir them along,

they looked a bit serious so I hope they hadn't

suffered some black box crisis on one of their

airlines. No one had taken out the ceremonial sword at

the stage I was asked to leave.



In Montreal where it was -22 degrees and the car park

was a makeshift skate arena, I managed to have my

first good fall on the ice. It was a beautifully

choreographed event with me managing to get one leg

out of the passenger side only to have it disappear at

a startling rate, followed by the rest of my body, the

result was one leg in car jammed under dashboard,

other heading out at an unimaginable angle [those of

you who have seen me do it, and yes I still can, "the

splits"] so there I am bum to shoulder blade immersed

in two inches of slush and fresh rain yet to be

frozen, and my head cracking the ice. After which my

efforts to get up as quickly as possible had me

heading off through the car park on my hands and

knees, [so am not putting figure skating on my list].

Needless to say after my explicit verbal reaction to

this the Quebec Qua have taken me on as a new

spokesman, which is by no means easy as they are folk

who consider you an inferior human because you speak

English.

Then into a company called CAE Electronics who produce

flight simulators for all aircraft of the world. Now

this is good fun and I have now had two small

sessions, 1 in an Airbus A320 the other in a Boeing

767. All good fun really.



I left Montreal at 4.30 pm by car and looked up at the

sign that said Toronto 535km, so I rang Mississauga

Juju and asked what was or dinner as I would be home

about 8pm?, bullshit I hear you say! But with the

highway being straight the whole way and with

everybody doing about 130kmh when you push it up to

145kmh it is achievable. End result dinner with the

trouble and strife.



This weekend skiing, and next week in Wisconsin &

Minnesota. So look forward to next weeks "the week

that was" coming from an American inbred own near you.

Cletus and his sister who is also his mother plus Hank

have been waiting my arrival.



Much love to all,

P's. send me your news as you are all hopeless.

Toronto pip

Toronto Pip [anniversary] Feb 24 2006

Hi all,


Welcome to an emotionally filled, yet strangely

normal, anniversary edition of the goings on of

Toronto Pip.



I don’t want you to get all teary eyed, and I know how

you have all missed me soooo much! But I would just

like to point out that it is my one year anniversary.

Yep it has been one year, since I left Aoteoroa [our

little bit of paradise], and it only feels like

yesterday.

But don’t panic just yet I am not returning to

terrorise you all just yet. [seriously thinking about

taking a posting in Qatar or India, but that’s a whole

different story in itself], because right in the back

of my mind is this little hammer, this little

yearning, this silent pull, back to home.

HOWEVER not for a couple of years? And definitely not

until we have a “HOOTERS” bar, preferable Kohi/St

Heliers.



I have had fun, adventure, travels, memories that can

never be taken away, but I do miss family, friends,

sheep [not that way sicko], and a decent piece of

bloody beef. Christ they go on and on about there beef

and quite frankly it is crap [and as you can imagine I

tell them so].

Sure Texas has Kobe like beef farms, but still it does

not have that we eat grass, outside, 365 days of the

year flavour that our beef has. Same goes for their

dairy products.

Sure there is Ontario lamb, well I actually crack up

laughing at the St Laurent Saturday market as they

sell their Ontario lamb, which to me looks remarkably

like a leg of hogget or mutton. Either that or they

have some kind of super lamb as the joints are the

size of my thigh? A couple of the butchers have

cottoned onto the fact that I am a Kiwi [and might

know something about meat] they disappear out the back

and come in with real slabs of meat. And on occasion

they get really excited as they actually have New

Zealand lamb in stock. And without being biased it

sooo much better, even they agree on this one.



As for Mississauga Juju, I am concerned here, she has

taken to the bottle, BEER bottle that is. Paint me red

and call me rusty but she has become a beer expert,

and this is in the winter, god help me when it starts

getting warm. Preference “Sleeman’s Honey Brown” and

god help anyone who doesn’t have it. Ju is quite the

picture heading off to “the beer store” [actual name]

with her empties in her trolley [I’m not joking]. They

still give money back on returns here. I will take a

picture as it is well worth a laugh.



Anyway that’s all for now. Next week London & Paris so

“the week that was” should be entertaining, followed

by Montreal & Ottawa, it sounds so very global but

it’s all so close. So hang onto your hats and I will

catch up with you soon.



By the way give me some of your news, its always great

to hear from home, and don’t think that it is boring

compared, because actually we are just doing what is

to be done in this part of the world.



I know its summer and all but we are going skiing

again this weekend. Will try and get some photos to

you.



Love to all

Toronto Pip

"The Weeks That Were" [Ground Hog's, Grits & Business Trips] Feb 21 2006

Hi all,


Cat got your tongue, oh how quickly they forget, any

way back into my normal delivery of the goings on of

Toronto Pip and Mississauga Juju.



I trust I catch you all well and enjoying the summer.

I am loving winter here and don't know what they all

complain about. Just last night it was -13 degrees and

I still managed to take the dog out for a walk with

my rugby shorts on. The locals can't believe it and

they stand out there looking like bloody Eskimo's

complaining how cold it is. Harden up I say, [which is

probably the wrong thing considering most of them are

gay].



I know that you have all been waiting anxiously for

"the week that was", some even pinning. It has become

a kind of expectation, a cult even. However with

travel etc this time it has to be "THE WEEKS THAT

WERE". I will try in my own way to keep it brief.



GROUNDHOG DAY,

February 2nd an American & Canadian tradition were

people trek to Gobblers Knob [and no its not just

around the corner from where we live, however I

believe half off those there believe they will get

some]. Only to find Punxsutawney Phil a cute little

groundhog who predicts the end of winter. Its the day

he comes out of his hole after a long winter sleep to

look for his shadow [just like Mississauga Juju].

If it is bright and clear six more months of winter is

there.

If it is dull and cloudy, Phil recons winters over.

Needless to say we are having a longer winter.



GRITS,

What the hell is this all about, every time I go to

the mid-west or mid-south of the US of A. I am always

served coffee by Cletus, and then his sister, who is

also his mother [that explains the missing teeth and

the slow talk]. Anyway it always happens I get asked,

"you want Hominy grits or plain grits", oh god I don't

want to be rude but who the f..k wants something

called grits for breakfast. Its made from the flint or

dent of corn with hard kernels that are dried on the

cob but then they soak them in a solution of baking

soda, lime & wood ash. Apparently this soften and

loosens the hulls [not to mention softens and loosens

something else]. Plus if need be they can use the

mixture to help with the road works. Unfortunately I

had to spend the whole day in Pleasant Shade,

Tennessee and after the grits I can assure you I

wasn't a pleasant shade. They cook them in about two

inches of bacon fat. Also this was the only place in

town that you could eat at. Back for lunch and feeling

safe only to find they serve grits for all meals [I

skipped dinner]. Cletus was still there with Beth who

is his mothers sister which makes her his aunt as well

as his other sister [try and keep up will you].



BUSINESS TRIPS.

I am making a bit of an effort in the north of US of

A, been visiting and or about to visit Minnesota,

Iowa, Illinois, Missouri, Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania

and of course my favourite Michigan. Car Capital of

the world, or should that be gun capital of the world.

[I travel packing heat and am never far from the

bullet proof vest]. Its great you go to restaurants

and they have lockers as there is a no gun policy

inside, plus you have to walk through metal detectors

to prove your clean. WOW WHAT A COUNTRY. [I have my

own opinion on that but that would be another whole

new email in its self].



We had a visit from Vicky Broadbent [or as I like to

call her Mistress Vicky] so you can imagine the carry

on that week, yet again a whole email in its self. It

was great to see her and we had a ball.



Ju & I have been skiing [snow of course] and after a

few of you have picked yourselves up off the floor I

have to say I am loving it and will be at the 2010

Olympics probably skiing for Canada??? I will be in

ski jumping, downhill, aerials, and luge. Anyway back

up the hill this weekend to break in the new boots.



I am home in Toronto this week but next week a quick

trip to London and Paris, [just for 4 days]. Then I

have a split week in Wisconsin & Minnesota to train

some new reps and see one factory which is of interest

to us. So there you have it, a it boring I know, but

its the best I can do.



Send me a bit of your own news, its always good &

exciting to get emails, however dull.



Bye for now, Love to all.

Toronto Pip

Regina, Saskatoon,Bambi & other frozen things: Feb 1 2006

Hi Again,


More exciting business adventures of Toronto Pip in

the Canadian wilderness.



Anyway after the wonderful flight and sporting a graze

to the side of my nose, I ventured out into the

thriving metropolis that is Regina {it rhymes with}, a

wonderful town of 180,000 people. There was the most

amazing haw frost and the tree's looked well, amazing.

That was about the best of Regina.



Meetings all morning then off to a couple of site

visits, all rather boring really. Well so I thought,

after a 30 min drive we pull up to the gates of SasGeo

Energy, cool I thought a geothermal power plant. OH NO

it was only a front for a NUCLEAR power plant with the

geo part coming from else where? [I offered my

services as I had had re-fried beans at breakfast].

If you have never been to a nuclear plant do, they are

great, I think NZ needs a few, it would solve all our

energy problems, and of course some poor country is

always willing to take the waste and hide it.



I have to admit to being slightly cautious, well as

cautious as I can be. [You know a bit like a kid in a

candy store]. They got sick of my questions, whats

this, whats that, why, when, can I push that big red

button, why are sirens sounding, [I didn't do it]?

Then we got to the reactor part, cool being that close

to all that uranium. I decided to joke and asked the

lab technician if he was interested in space, [when he

answered yes I asked if anyone had probed Uranus].



They do take it seriously, no cell phones, [probably

so if it Chernobyl's when you are in there you can't

call anyone], and after you leave the reactor room you

pass through a giegercounter thingimyjig, to see if

you have gathered any radio active material while in

there. I tried to impersonate the noise those machines

make but no one was fooled.



I got back to my hotel, and when it was time to sleep

turned of the lights, and couldn't work out why it

wasn't dark. Then I realised I was glowing green,

[must have been something I ate].



Up in the morning and off to Saskatoon [which rhymes

with baboon] couldn't think of anything rude. A 3 hour

drive, so relatively short by North American

standards. The weather was gale force with the snowing

either going sideways or up, black ice everywhere, and

the road disappearing from time to time [makes for an

exciting drive and christ do you get tired

concentrating though]. Then I realsised it was 10am

and still dark, [must be further north that I

anticipated, arctic circle region].

Travel tip, don't put Regina [rhymes with va...] or

Saskatoon [rhymes with baboon] on your Canadian travel

plans. Although I can get you into the nuclear power

plant no problems.



But wait that's not all, the drive back to Regina

[rhymes with ...] was not without fun and games. Black

ice and no visibility aside it is still a requirement

to drive at 120kph, this is great until Bambi decides

to do the proverbial lets cross the road trick, now

all experience tells you to slam on the picks, swerve,

panic and all that, however I choose to floor it. Here

I ask the question, [you know all is well as I am

writing this down after the fact], but my question is,

why do animals get half way across then stop and stare

at you, Bambi move you fool, SMACK, BANG to late, [oh

look there is where I was going, and there is where I

have been, there is where is was going again, and

there is have been again, WEEEEEEE you can spin a car

in these conditions approx 8 times.

I hope Bambi is alright, whoops no I don't think Bambi

is moving. Man can a 40lb animal make a dent or what,

[car driveable check], will send photo soon, don't

show the kids, [seeing a damaged car like that is so

traumatic]. Pip 1 Deer 0. Car rental company not at

all upset happens all the time. Insurance Co 1 Pip 0.





Great, another airport, "when do we board", 6.35pm "Ok

thanks". 6.40pm oh look surprise surprise there's no

plane at our gate, attention all passengers on flight

blar blar blar to Toronto there is a slight delay,

[you think]? As there is no plane at our gate and we

are the only f....ing people in the airport that we

need to have 10 messages attention all passengers on

flight blar blar blar to Toronto there is a further

delay. Oh goodie lets have a drink, what do you mean

the bar closes at 7.30pm, what the hell

kind of place is this. Anyway get back to Toronto with

a very smooth flight, albeit 1am. Oh well that's

business life for you.



Well there you have it, a small insight into Toronto

Pips excellent business adventure to Saskatchewan

region, to its capital Regina and Saskatoon. What a

great name.



Bye for now.

Toronto Pip

Did I tell you about the girl I met in Regina......January 30 2006

Crikey Its Toronto Pip with his trusty, oh no it's a


business trip so am on my todd.

Welcome to "the business trip that is".

Haven't had time for "the week that was" of late so

you are just going to have to put up with this short

and sweet rendition of my latest business trip.



I was sitting at Toronto airport Sunday afternoon

working out how many planes I have been on, how many

hotels I have stayed in, how many rental f...ing cars

I have hired [and were the hell am I going this time]

and wondered to myself what the hell is it all about,

way are we here, did we evolve [some of my friends

proof we did] shit that was a bit heavy, lets digress

to my trip before I get all teary eyed.



Take of 4pm to Saskatchewan, NO it was delayed out of

Saskatchewan as there was a blizzard. Take of at 7pm

NO, as we had to wait in line to be sprayed with fluid

to de-ice. Take of at 7.30 NO, we now had to wait in a

cue for 30 Min's before take off. At least I going

back in time if you know what I mean. Who ever said

travel was glamours needs a kick up the jacksy.



Flight to Sas very smooth, not so with the landing as

we had to fly through high winds [and that was just

from my pants], through a blizzard, as I was looking

out window to see were the runway was we hit, bounced,

hit, bounced, hit, bounced, hit and stopped bouncing,

[it was like watching the women's final at Melbourne,

I mean the young lady sitting next to me breast's were

doing a fantastic impersonation]. I was just starting

to get excited when the bloody pilot decided to slam

the plane into a skid, hit full reverse and brakes at

the same time so my last vision was not of a wonderful

pair of firm knocker's getting back to a normal sway

but the f...ing tray in the upright position smacking

me in the nose. To top it off the nob up the front [I

mean the pilot] announced welcome to Regina [which

sounds like va.... and his landing nearly gave me

angina]. Its a crisp -11 with wind chills of -20. Oh

great I forgot my battery operated heated long johns

and my hat. Into another Hotel to find the bar under

construction and the restaurant closed, great.

Any way I have a days work in Regina, and then up to

Saskatoon for another day, that will be great as its

-20 with wind chill of - f..k its cold. I will keep

you informed of my first real drive into the

wilderness, at the counter of the rental car company,

will you be taking the insurance option sir, "hell

yes, and can I have the red mustang I haven't bent one

of those?, Yet!

Catch you soon

Love to all

Toronto Schumaker Pip

New York on my Mind: January 25 2006

Kia ora to all back home in NZ,




It is I Toronto Pip, no I mean NYPD (New York Pip

Dept), oh I have no idea who I am.

Currently I am commuting to New York every week from

Toronto. So it is down on Monday morn & back Friday

evening, as you can guess the "banshee" is not overly

happy with these arrangements... I can assure you it

is not such a great arrangement for me either...not

enough jiggy jiggy.



Here is last weeks flying adventure...

Limo picks me up at 4am (yes limo, or town car as they

call them up here) the early hour due to the fact that

it is an international flight. Check in, no luggage

only carry on. Sit in seat at 6.15am, taxi out while

looking at snow storm dumping about 6 inches of snow

on the wing??? We de-ice which takes about 15 Min's,

then taxi to take off, pilot not happy so back to

gate...Back out to de-ice at 7.45am, this time there

is a queue, wait another 30Min's...De-ice and taxi to

join a 20min queue...Pilot announces that flight has

been cancelled due to ice rain and the plane is not

rated for flying in ice-rain. In many ways this is

rather comforting...We de-plane & there is the normal

stampede to the gate to re-book. We seasoned

traveller's stay in our seats and hit the Continental

re-dial button and re-book on the 10.30 flight with

which we are told to go to gate 9 to collect boarding

passes, 75 people do not go into 40 seats. Stroll up

to the gate and wait patiently at back of queue. They

announce that flight is full, however could Pip Wood,

John Smith etc etc please come and collect their

boarding passes. The looks we get are hostile to say

the least...Finally we take off...have 25Min's of

horrendous turbulence and arrive in Newark at 2.14pm.

Friday, limo picks me up at 5.15pm to drive to

airport, big queues as it is Friday, 8.15pm flight

back to Toronto...it starts to snow horizontally...we

board as per usual and push back on time at 8pm...taxi

out to be de-iced, with pilot saying we are on time

and will be taking off shortly after this

process...then announces that we are 39th in the

queue...2 hrs later we de-ice...taxi...and take

off...arrive in Toronto at 12.30am Sat...oh the joys

of living the life of an international business

person.

This week I chose to travel to Washington DC where I

had 2 important meetings. One was with the govt

contract dept...once you get in here and are on the

list...it means every project that is a govt funded

one...your product is specified automatically.

The next meeting was at the FBI headquarters in

DC...of course I was there on the day that George Baby

was having his State of The Nation speech...everybody

in law enforcement was on high alert...we were

visiting a very high tech area that was

CLASSIFIED...our product has been installed because of

its anti-static qualities...it was an experience...we

were x-rayed twice (this only showed up my hand

gun)...patted down twice (I pretend to enjoy that a

little to much)...no cell phones or any electronic

devices (what I can't use my spy camera in here)...I

tried to get on one of the computers to see what dirt

they had on me but alas I failed...as soon as you move

from where you are supposed to be someone in a blue

suit appears from no where...I wasn't even able to

keep my FBI visitors pass...When we left the building

I couldn't help but say "he's got a gun" loudly just

to get a reaction... apparently they don't fall for

that one anymore...

I was deposited on the pavement by two guys in blue

suits...what is it with the FBI and blue suits...



Oh god it's Super Bowl in a few weeks...I had to endue

a semi-final the other night...what a stupid game...it

takes 3 hrs to play a game of 4 x 20min

quarters...There was a game of rugby also playing but

trying to explain how real men play sport to this lot

is a waste of time...when the rugby game had finished

they were just finishing the 2nd quarter???



"The She Devil" is of to Paris next week...poor her

eh...we have a friend Robert who takes an apartment

there every year so she can stay for free...his boy

friend (hence Julie going to stay in Paris with our

friend Robert) Gerard is a fantastic & becoming well

known artist...so it gets me out of having to go there

and look at museum's/art galleries & old

buildings...all I want to do is chase French Skirt

(probably why I haven't been invited)...so she can

titter around look at art and fashion with two guys

who understand tittering about looking at art and

fashion...

Montreal (soon to be Manhattan) McGregor will have

some quality time with his dad...when I come down here

to NY he will have to join me...



That's all for now...I will be back soon as I have a

few more tales to tell...

NYPD Pip

Over and out.

The Christmas Message: December 21 2005

Tena ia tangate, Harahoa Kirihmete.


Hi all, Merry Christmas.



Welcome to "the week that was" an enthralling,

enlightening, whimsical, riveting, often profound,

never boring, not at all lacking, totally absorbing

tales & tribulations of the goings on of Toronto Pip &



his Trusty [often gusty, always dusty, occasionally

crusty, mostly musty & of course my favourite big &

BUSTY] side kick Mississauga Juju.



Well Xmas is upon us and isn't it grand. You would not

believe the trees with decorations, the lights the

displays, bloody fantastic. You think shopping in

Auckland is hectic wait until you get to a mall where

there are 200,000 people doing it all in one place at

one time [shopping that is, I thought it was for the

other reason and turned up in hope, should have worn

more clothes]. I tell you it is quite a sight.

Needless to say I only went to look, Juju is getting a

wonderful gift from the dollar shop, hope she likes

it. [When I met Ju I knew I had meet Mrs Right, and

nothings changed, however no one warned me her first

name was always]?



We will of course be having a white Xmas, there is

snow on the ground and more today and over the next

few days as well. We will be skiing on boxing day

hehe, or should I say Ju will be skiing I will be

sliding and probably end up sliding down to one of the

numerous bars that you can ski/slide to, what a place.

[Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a

women's sex drive by 90%, its called a "Wedding

Cake"]?



Xmas day we are not really getting to excited about as

it will be just us two and McGregor. I am going to

serve Xmas lunch to the homeless as I think this would

be a real enlightening experience, its not the needy

its the street people [card board box dwellers]. So

will be quite an experience.



For dinner we are not going traditional, we are going

to have lobster and duck. Although, and get this for

over the top. I was watching the cooking programs last

night and this chef cut his turkey down the middle,

then cut a duck down the middle, then put a chicken

inside the duck and the duck in the turkey, all had

been individually stuffed etc. Hows that for a

different over the top take on three birds at

Christmas. [wish I was having three birds for

Christmas]



After Christmas we are going down to New York for 5

days, we have luckily been offered an apartment to

stay in, which in New York is a real offer. So Juju is

sorting out HER itinerary and I will as usual follow

along. I hope there's a Hooters in New York, don't

want any of those namby pamby Manhattan pouring bars,

with stupid pretty people everywhere. Ju has even

threatened to hide my shorts which I insist on wearing

even in the snow.



I have had a few side-ways looks by the locals as they

cannot believe that anyone would take the dog out for

a walk bare foot in shorts and a t-shirt when its

snowing and minus 6 degrees. They all think that New

Zealand is obviously closer to the south pole than

they originally thought. They do not believe that it

has never snowed in Auckland and that we have mild not

cold winters. I just tell them to harden up [which

gets the gay boys all excited] and that it isn't that

bad.



Tried to get to Montreal for business on Thursday last

week, however they had 30cm in 2 hours with a 48 hour

spread adding another 60cm. So needless to say

Montreal was crippled, and had more snow in 48 hours

than Turoa/Whakapapa get in a whole season.



Just to lighten the mood, I went to visit a friend in

hospital the other day, I asked him what had happened.

He said his wife was complaining that her breasts were

to small, so he told her to stand in front of the

mirror and rub toilet paper on them and over the years

her breasts would become bigger. When she enquired if

this would truly make her breasts bigger he responded,

"well it worked for your arse didn't it".

Needless to say he was lucky I wasn't visiting him in

the morgue.



I went to a zoo the other day,

When I got there, there was only a dog,

It was a SHIATSU.



In the beginning God created the earth, then rested.

Then he created Man, and rested.

Then he created Woman?

Since then, neither God nor Man has ever rested.



Twelve Days Of Christmas

Pips "Redneck" version

On the twelve day of xmas my women gave to me,

a 12-pack of Bud,

11 maple leaf tickets,

10 Hooters Women,

9 years probation,

8 lap dancers,

7 packs of jerky,

6 cans of spaghetti,

5 flannel shirts,

4 ice tires,

3 pack of condoms,

2 nights of jigy,

and 56" flat screen TV.



CHEERS TO ALL,[IF IN DOUBT DRINK MORE]

WISHING YOU ALL THE BEST

AND HAVE A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS.



LOVE TO ALL

TORONTO PIP