Outlaws at Niagara and other places: September 13 2005

Hi All,


From The Winter-less North, that is Toronto, welcome

to "the week that was".

Another action packed, enchanting, riveting and

totally absorbing adventure of Toronto Pip and his

trusty [or should that be busty] side-kick [its better

than drop-kick] Mississauga Juju. Plus the temporary

[thank god] appearance of the "Outlaws", dan dan dan

dannnnn [picture this with dramatic music].



The mention of the winter-less north, has been thrown

in early on as normally talking about the weather is

both boring and generally puts people to sleep. I

don't mean to harp on but when will the heat stop???

Its hovering around the early 30's still, and quite

frankly I just wish it would piss of and start

snowing, however you have to be careful of what

company you are in when you mention this, as some

Ontarians take it all a bit seriously.



Well the "outlaws" have been here for two weeks [feels

like months], and its been amazing [really it is], its

amazing that there hasn't been a murder. Anyway Ju and

the "outlaws" have been exploring Toronto during the

day, then after work tour guide "Toronto Pip" kicks

in, this makes for some interesting, relaxing &

tranquil trips in the car during rush hour when 2

million people are trying to get home, [quick pass the

pepto bismol, or should that be pips-live-is-dismal].



Well on Friday we went to Niagara on the Lake, this is

a small town about 15-20 mins from the actual falls.

It is an absolutely stunning setting, with grand old

things everywhere [and not just "outlaw Paul & Moira"

but the "evil witch" also] I mean all colonial houses,

and the main street and its flowers are spectacular

[oh god I've caught outlawitis, send help, send money,

send anything, send something].

We stayed at a 200 hundred year old B&B which was just

out of town, in a peach orchard and next to all the

Niagara vineyards [good eh]. We were allowed to take

McGregor which was good and he and the farm dog Max

the Alsatian got on well, not so good with the

farmhouse pussy [cat, you sicko] Hannibal, at least I

think it was a cat, it was this Hairy & Fluffy thing

that moved from time to time. It certainly wasn't a

hairless chawawa, or a fine haired Siamese [like all

pussies should be??].

Friday afternoon [late] we drove 15 mins to the falls

[Niagara Falls you slow ones], you know just popped in

to have a look and watch the sun go down. Then back

into town for dinner.



Saturday we hit the vineyards, [the 3 major ones]. I

of course gravitated, no headed straight to the

tasting rooms, while "she devil" as per usual got to

know all about the architecture, the wine, the people,

etc etc. Me with all the tact in the world put on an

Aussie accent, and behaved like Russel Crowe, and

explained that they had no idea how to make red wine &

which tasting room is free. I had to be careful though

as the drink drive laws up here are pretty strict [You

can't drive home slightly tipsy [blind drunk] like

back at home.

Then Saturday afternoon we headed back towards the

falls, and walked around the botanical gardens, [help

me please], then to the butterfly house [really, help

me]. It was actually astonishingly beautiful, and I

have never seen butterfly's like it, and some of the

moths were the size of a football [helllllpppppp

meeeeeeee].

I got severely reprimanded in the gift shop when I

announced why in hell did they not sell butterfly nets

or bug spray?

Then back to Niagara Falls, [why, because we could]?

Then around the river and up to look at Lake Eerie and

over the Peace Bridge to Buffalo USA, big mistake,

there had been some Hispanic march or something so I

had to call into the local gun store and buy "the

banshee" & "outlaws" bullet proof vests, then teach

"outlaw Paul" how to use the Beretta and "outlaw

Moira" the pump action shotty while I zig zagged our

way back to the Rainbow Bridge and back onto Canadian

soil [thank god].



Then back to Toronto. "Outlaw & Ju have gone up to

P.E.I [Price Edward Island] Anne of Green Gables

country, "outlaw Paul's" ancestors came from there so

good for Paul and of course he has the walking

encyclopedia [she who knows all] Juju with him, so

they should have a great time.



I of course am batching for 4 days with McGregor [what

can we get up to???]. So he and I will walk the

streets trying to spot actors. We have the Toronto

Film Festival" in town so there are celeb's

everywhere. I have so far en counted [seen up

close]Pierce Bronson [looks alright], Madonna [not

flash in the flesh], Val Kilmer [you girls would like

him], and Charlize Theron [oh yer baby, huminer

huminer].

So I will use the next few days to relax and catch up

with some sleep [yer right]



Anyway that's all for now, I am of to Chicago [on my

own] again next week as well as Montreal with the

"outlaws", and then the following week to Calgary and

Edmonton, Alberta and if I can fit it in Vancouver. So

that will make for some good up and coming issues of

"the week that was".

Love to all,

Toronto Pip