The In-laws in town: September 7 2005

Hi All,


Welcome to another "the week that was", full of the

enthralling, exciting, and the sometimes unbelievable

adventures of Toronto Pip and his trusty [or should

that be crusty] side-kick Mississauga Juju.



As you may be aware I have the "outlaws" [parents in

law for you slow ones] up here visiting, so as you can

imagine I am on my best behaviour, "yer right". With

the oldies up here, as well as Juju's parents, the

touring around is a bit interesting, early dinners,

mashed food, loud talking [I've never had a problem in

that department] etc, and that's just for Julie, it

makes for some interesting evenings. I was going to

take Paul to he "Brass Rail" [a quality

establishment], however I didn't want to have a heart

attack on my hands so canned that tour.



As you are probably all aware on the 2nd of Sept I

turned over yet another year [with another year some

hoped that I would grow up, mature, etc, however that

just seems so boring]. For those of you who

remembered, thank you for your emails, kind words, and

caring anecdotes etc. For those of you who didn't, you

should be ashamed of yourselves, however you can

redeem all by sending a substantial donation to the

Toronto Pip Fund [a none profit organisation set up

for re-hydration [drinking], meeting new acquaintances

[chasing local wildlife], food distribution [eating],

fitness [watching sport at the local bar]. All

donations are tax deductible and can be sent to the TD

Canadian Trust Bank Toronto, [just use Toronto Pip as

the reference, they know who I am].



As I have always said;

" Life should not be a journey to the grave with the

intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well

preserved body"

"But rather to Skid in sideways, Rum in one hand,

Viagra in the other, body thoroughly worn out and

screaming "yee ha" WHAT A RIDE!



We just had our last long weekend for the year which

means we are on the downward slide into winter and yes

you guessed it, we went to a lake [yes a lake] for the

weekend. We drove north with the "outlaws" and went up

to the well known "Muskoka area" [cottage country] as

we drove I acted as tour guide pointing out points of

interest on the way [blonds, brunettes, etc], as well

as noting the Canadian wildlife [blonds, redheads,

etc]. Needless to say "outlaw Paul" enjoyed this very

much.

We stayed at a very nice place right on "Gull Lake"

yes another ....... lake! "Outlaw Moira" enjoyed this.





We took a lake tour of "Muskoka" on an old steam

vessel, a "grand old girl with great heritage" the

boat had some history as well.

I of course made straight for the engine room and made

friends with the engineer and set about giving him

pointers and advise on how to make the steam engine

more efficient, more powerful, more steamy? The guy

who stoked the fire was not impressed with my asking

if it was hot enough for him, or should we throw a few

more shovels of coal on for good measure. The scary

thing was that "she who must be obeyed" didn't even

break a sweat????

Then I made my way up to the bridge to ask if I could

take the wheel, dock it back at the wharf. I flashed

my New Zealand drivers license to make as if I was

officially a steam boat driver, after some discussion

we all agreed that the police would sort it all out

when we got back to port.

It didn't help matters when I went "forward" [that's a

boat term] and did my Titanic impersonation hanging of

the "bow" [another nautical term] and yelled "I'm on

top of the world" I explained to the police that it

was my birthday yesterday, and that I was touring with

the "banshee" [wife] and the "outlaws", this was a

BIG mistake as the police automatically realised I was

obviously delusional as anyone touring with his "wife"

and the "outlaws" could NOT be on top of the world.



We then travelled further north, past more ..... lakes

to "Algonquin National Park" unbelievable mass of land

with the most fantastic wildlife [actual]

conservation, canoeing etc.

I went bear hunting [or was that beer hunting] all I

could come up with was a chipmunk and a skunk

[unfortunately not a skank] [ask a young person you

oldies]??

Then we looked for some Moose, I am kind of glad we

didn't find one as they are huge animals. Its no

wonder you are kind of buggered if you hit one. I'll

send some photos if I can soon.

The park had an amazing visitors centre which

explained the history of the park, had great displays,

etc. We also had a great bush walk.



Then down to another lake called "Scugog". The

township is wonderful and has great shops etc, its the

only place that has shops like home.

Then down to Lake Ontario where I had a swim next to

the nuclear power plant. If I start to develop extra

body parts I'll send photo's and leave them to

science. Then back to Toronto for some well earned

rest. And back to work after a relaxing weekend.



This week Thursday I have to go to Chicago so I will

drive the "she devil & the "outlaws" to Niagara and

then fly from Buffalo to Chicago. Then join them for

Friday night, then on Saturday visit "Marine Land"

where they have Orca's you can kiss and Beluga Whales.

I may have a nudge at going over the falls in a

barrel, there is good money in it if you survive. So

that will be some ammunition for the next week that

was.

Catch up with you all soon.

Love

Toronto Pip